6 Things Most Filipino Parents Expect of You

Bubble Gang Ikaw at ang Ina

DISCLAIMER: This is based on my own personal experiences and from what I have seen from my own friends. The opinions in this post does not represent every single Filipino in the world so comme des fuckdown people. 

  1. Get a good education – From what I’ve seen in my highschool and community, Filipinos are probably the third smartest Asians in Canada (first being East Asians and second being South Asians). This is mostly because our parents have something to do with it. I know in my household, this is how the rubric goes: A – Well done! You really are my offspring! B – good but not good enough. You should’ve reviewed your answers at least twice before handing it in. C – You didn’t try hard enough. D – You spend too much time Facebooking and Youtubing and gallivanting with your friends. F – you are grounded until you improve  your grades. You go to school, work and come home. Nothing else. To Filipino parents, this also means that taking a break between high school and college/university is a big, fat NO.
  2. Land a good- paying job – This has a pro and a con. The good side is your Filipino parents want nothing but the best for you and they’re trying to tell you that if you land a job with a good salary, you can finally indulge yourself without the guilt of owing your creators (aka parents) some money. The disadvantage? Some parents will expect you to have a high salary to help finance your extended families back home (sad, but true).
  3. Be able to cook and clean before getting married – This applies mostly to girls. Most immigrant Filipino parents are obviously still stuck in the old ways and their idea of a Filipino wife would be a woman who will the house the entire day and cook just in time for their family to come home from work or school. A common joke in my house whenever I cook my family dinner would be my dad laughing and saying “anak, masarap luto mo ngayon. Pwede ka na magasawa!” (Child, your cooking tastes good today. You’re ready to get married!) Oh and by the way, when I say cook, I mean Filipino cuisine.
  4. Marry and have kids by your 30s - This is probably not a common expectation anymore, especially since the amount of teen moms suddenly skyrocketed (unfortunately). But I used to get asked all by my aunts and uncle all the time why I’m not married yet. This is actually based on some of my friends’ parents. My parents surprisingly don’t bug me with this issue, considering they got married when my dad was 27 and my mom was 26.
  5. Marry either a Filipino or a White Catholic spouse – I absolutely hate this one for a number of reasons. For one, your parents shouldn’t be the one to choose who you marry. This isn’t Aladdin. It shouldn’t matter who you fall in love with’ regardless of their race, religion or even gender. Filipino parents mostly want a Filipino in- law because they don’t want to concern themselves with cultural differences. Second, the sad reality is that one reason why your parents want you to marry a white man or woman is because the Caucasian race in The Philippines has always been perceived as people with a lot of money. White spouse = rich family; Which I think is the most ridiculous thing ever. Even more ridiculous would be that fact that marrying a white person will mean your child will not only be a hybrid, but it will have lighter skin. We all know how obsessed Filipinos are with trying to be White (I’m talking to you, Vicki Belo enthusiasts). Filipino parents disapprove of their child dating a person of a darker race; particularly anyone with African or Caribbean descent. One thing I hate the most is that a lot of Filipino parents immediately think that just because he/she is black, he/she is automatically a drug dealer or some kind of thug. This is one of the things that makes me lose respect for Filipino elders sometimes.
  6. Take care of them once they get old – If a Filipino child sends their senior citizen of a parent to a retirement home, it is not only disrespectful but beyond ungrateful. It is the most herectic, blasphemous thing a Filipino child can ever do to their parents. It’s practically a mortal sin of epic proportions. If you think about it, it shouldn’t matter if they were assholes to you or the greatest parents in the world. They took care of you when you were young so the least you can do would be to return the favour when they get old.

(image source: boybanat.com)

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